Someone is putting baby nappies after use in my recycling bin, I fish them out and put them in my rubbish bin whenever I see them. I have 2 x neighbours to the right of me who have children and they’ve both moved in within the last year - and the nappies have been happening for about a few months.
Today I was having a late one in bed - about 11 I heard the bin lid go, and then upstairs door close.
I would go speak to them, but we got off on a good foot which turned to a bad foot and haven’t spoken to them really since - so I’m more inclined with a letter than in person.
To be honest, I probably wouldn't go into that much detail, and I defintely wouldn't invite people to start putting shit in my bin, but you sound like a better person than me.
That’s a fair point, people do it anyway in this cul de sac, had someone taking bin bags out of my bin - that’s when I got a camera, so figured if they’re going to do it anyway, at least do it in the right bin!
They do, though not everyone has a recycling bin - I had to buy my own after it was robbed. Their bin is often full so I imagine that’s why mine is being used
Get a lock mate. Don't let em keep taking advantage, cause they will. What about when xmas comes.. you don't to use your own bins because they'll just treat yours as theirs :/
This is a criticism often levied at autistic people, but considering the prevalence of autistic people online I think it's fairer to say that AI writes like us, not the other way around.
Dude when I was on a dating app a while ago someone matched me just to accuse me of using ai to write my profile. Called them an asshole and blocked them lmao, if I had a nickel every time an autistic person got accused of using/being AI I’d be a fucking millionaire
It's so frustrating! I'm actually incredibly on edge about it because I've seen people get accused of being AI for things like being too descriptive/writing too well, basically, like a story being too coherent and streamlined, and like... I'm a writer and a journalist. I have been writing since I was literally 4 years old. I write clearly and concisely because I have a lot of practise. AI trained on humans! It sounds like us!
It's a double whammy when you're autistic. I remember when I was younger I'd go online so I didn't have to put up with people joking about me being a robot, and now...
I'm also autistic. My neighbour was filling up my bin at one point. I waited to catch him in the act and yelled "stop using my bloody bin!". He said "ok sorry' and that was the end of it.
Your wording is too long and too polite. 'No nappies thanks' would do.
I would get wheelie bin locks. Should you have to? No but it's going to stop the problem. People who put nappies in other people's bins know what they are doing and won't care about a note.
Doing way too much. Cut it right back to “please stop putting nappies in the recycling bin as they are not recyclable. I don’t mind you using the regular bin, just not the recycling bin, thanks” and then if it happens again, you return the nappy to their doorstep.
Personally I’d knock the door and just ask how they are, try and smooth over the bad foot you mention.
Then say look I’m really sorry, but I noticed you putting baby nappies in the recycling bin, and they aren’t recyclable. Can you stop doing that please ? I will be removing them and putting them in your rubbish bin if you keep doing it.
Don’t say it’s fine to put them in your bin, that’s taking the mick really. Give em an inch and they’ll take a mile.
I feel the couple upstairs are a bit volatile in sense of two people shouldn’t be together so they’re drawing all the bad parts of each other out - the bad foot was because the first time we heard them arguing we thought heard someone be seriously injured so we called the police — officers visited and left - and the gent came banging on the door. I was alone at this point and didn’t answer (social anxiety and my own trauma) - he left swearing,
We haven’t really spoken since to be honest- we still hear shouting and arguing and are attentive should any issues happen so we can knock on door instead of call police this time and maybe offer help (depending on how bad it sounds) - but autism means I don’t know how to navigate this with my own trauma, and be on a good footing with them - if that makes sense
I’d replied before reading this - OP, for your safety, don’t engage with these people. Don’t send a note, don’t offer them your bin space, don’t go round trying to help them sort out their domestic problems, don’t engage in any way. Just get bin locks for your bins and be done with it, because gently, it sounds like you are a kind person whose autism unfortunately makes them uniquely vulnerable to either being taken advantage of or being put into dangerous situations.
None of your ideas of how to handle these people are the right choices in terms of your own safety. Just steer clear of them completely.
In which case, report this to the management company that manages the flats, assuming you have one. No need for any direct contact if at all avoidable.
This this this. OP, babies go through tons of nappies a week! Giving them permission to use your bin if there’s space means they will start putting ALL their nappies (and likely other literal and figurative crap) in your bin, and before you know it, there will be no more space for you to put your own rubbish in there.
“Hello, I’ve noticed you have been putting nappies in my recycling bin. We need to use this for our own refuse, and nappies are not recyclable items anyway. Please use your own black bin for this kind of waste from now on. Thank you, OP”
Another autistic person here - I have found that whilst we have a preference for knowing why we're being asked to do something and having all the reasons, it comes off as weird and overexplainy to neurotypical folks. I would rephrase to just end at "Please do not use the recycling bin". Or just put a note on the recycling bin saying "Please no nappies" and a second note on the rubbish bin saying "Rubbish bin - nappies can go in here if you have no space".
Unfortunately, probably. I have no clue why neurotypical people don't want to have all the information but a lot of people don't like having a thorough explanation! My best guess is that they feel condescended on? Which is weird because I've never felt condescended on for having a thorough plan and all the information...
I'm also autistic and I understand the inclination to explain, but the explanation is too much. Unless they're also autistic, they're not gonna value the explanation. They're gonna think you think they're stupid. I know that's not it, but NT people can easily read over explaining as that.
Keep it matter of fact. There's a comment elsewhere that I think got it spot on. No need to explain how you know it's them either.
That was my first instinct too. Telling anyone you're autistic is opening yourself up to abuse and bad treatment. It's not necessary info, they won't change their opinion of you or the letter once the know you're autistic. There are understanding people out there of course, but this isn't the best situation to figure out where the neighbors stand.
Why do people need to tell everyone they’re autistic nowadays?
But that’ll come across really condescending. The entire second half of the letter was unnecessary, they’re well aware of the issues and they’re taking the piss.
Autistic people are often accused of being rude when that isn't the intent. This helps clarify that there's no such intention. Autistic people communicate differently.
I think the fact that OP is autistic explains a lot as to why they have put out this long letter. Being autistic can sometimes mean having trouble communicating, and not understanding the best way to approach another person and how much explanation is "appropriate".
so I understand why OP has written it on the note, but it isn't the correct thing to do in this case
I say it because people tend to misunderstand a lack of tone as being a certain way, or many other ways people can be misunderstood.
To avoid comment flooding saying aeiou because maybe I’ve written something without realising how it would come across to others - I’ve put a little by the way - just so people can be aware — hope that makes sense!
hi, I can see you mean well, but this is too long. You don't need to explain why nappies shouldn't go in the recycling bin, and you don't need to sound apologetic about sending the note, or to mention your autism. And you definitely don't need to go into why you think it's them.
"Hi, someone's been putting used nappies in my recycling bin - don't know if it's you, but if it is please stop! They are not recyclable."
You're a very nice person, but this runs the risk of them taking the piss. Just knock on their door, say hi, politely ask them not to put anything in your bins, you're having to fish out used nappies which is unpleasant. Thank you very much, goodbye.
If you'd rather write a note just say hi, I noticed you're putting nappies in my bin, please don't! Thanks very much.
Personally I would be polite but very firm, this is skank behaviour.
It's far too long. Hell. We don't mind you putting nappies in our landfill bin if you've no space left, but please don't put them in the recycling bin. Thank you".
A bulleted "here's why" list comes across as cunty. And weirdly AI like!
Also autistic and also tend to go into FAR much too much detail to try and articulate my point EXACTLY! But over time I've learned many situations don't actually need "exact".
I would just stick with the first two paragraphs. You've identified the problem. You've offered a solution. They don't need environmental reasons. If they cared, they wouldn't be putting it in any recycling bin in the first place.
I'd also end it with "Thank you" because I try to be polite, even in times when most wouldn't, because it eases my nerves when dealing with the dreaded "stranger danger". 🤢
if you’re on a bad footing with them they are probably doing it on purpose. Even an idiot knows nappies don’t go in the recycling bin. You can try being nice, or you can just hang them off their front door handle.
This is frankly too polite. Don’t offer these pricks your rubbish bin. They don’t care about why it’s wrong to use your bin or to put things in recycling and it’s very sweet but also very naive for you to think they give a shit. They likely won’t even read it.
Ignorant, entitled behaviour is best stopped with a bin lock. If they were reasonable people with any kind of civil duty, they’d have asked to use your bin in the first place.
Knowing the literacy level of the average person, they’ll probably get angry at you for sending them “an essay tellin me wot to do.”
No need for the explanatory notes as I guarantee they aren’t using your recycling bin out of ignorance, it’ll be indifference and convenience
Agree with others commenting that giving your neighbour free rein to use your rubbish bin is a bad idea and it may lead to further conflict
I’d leave two identical notes, one on the bin and one through your neighbour’s letterbox: “Please don’t put nappies in the recycling bin, thanks”
P.S. If your neighbours are genuinely struggling to fit the volume of waste they produce into their own rubbish bin they can ask the local council for an additional black bin
I have encountered this in the context of adults receiving home care who get through a lot of continence products on a daily basis and fortnightly collections of a single bin was insufficient
I would not give them free rein to use your bins in the future at all. That could become a problem if you ever have a lot to put out and they have filled it. I would put something along the lines of "please feel free to knock on my door if you have run out of room in your own bins" or something like that.
I think this is totally overkill, however if you’re sure about sending it definitely take out ‘I’m autistic’, it’s irrelevant and nobody asked/needs to know.
Why are you telling them they can use your bins? If you have solid evidence of who is doing it, start flinging those nappies open at their property. Make sure they hit, and wear gloves. There's your message.
That is far more polite than I would have written, which would have been along the lines of telling them to stop putting their child's human waste products in my property.
I also would not at any point apologise for being neuruodivergent. That makes it somehow seem that this is the problem, not their complete lack of manners or consideration.
Do not tell them they can put things in your rubbish bin. They will take it as open invitation, and then they have the note as proof of your permission if anything happens.
I would just send the first two paragraphs, and remove the part about hearing the bin lid close and then their door. You don't need to explain how you know it's them, and you don't want to make them feel like they're being closely monitored
Remove the explanation of why they shouldn't do it, you don't need to explain that. Remove the ending line "This letter is not intended..". Also remove the bit about autism, it's irrelant.
It’s the tism not chat gpt- here’s my note page of me writing down what I wanted to write roughly and then the image in the post is me putting it all together - I can confirm no G of the P of the T was used
That's extremely polite, I'd be giving them back the nappies personally and telling them to use their own god damn bin. If they don't have enough space in theirs then they can request another off the council, no excuse to use your bins whatsoever
Guys, the person has said they have autism. It's not always as simple as just knocking on the door and having a chat. We can find social interactions difficult to navigate, and often end up being overly polite because we're trying so hard to get the interaction right.
I've written notes to neighbours before and even given gifts, like boxes of chocolates, because approaching people and navigating those social situations can be incredibly difficult.
And to the OP, a letter is absolutely fine. Just don't over-explain yourself. It can come across as though you think the recipient is stupid, so I'd leave out the explanation about why nappies shouldn't go in the recycling bin.
"Congratulations on the new baby! Please feel free to use my general waste bin to dispose of nappies in secure bags if you run out of room in your own bin but please do not put them in my recycling bin again. Cheers, number 9"
Option 2:
"Congratulations on the new baby! Please do not continue to use my bins to dispose of the nappies. Here is the council website which you can use to find alternative ways to dispose of them if there are too many for your own bins. Cheers, number 9"
You don't need to educate them and it comes across passive aggressive when you write too much. Don't worry about it sounding like you're telling them off because you are! Just do it in as polite a way as possible and assume you won't be best mates. I would also avoid warning them about what will happen if they continue, but do take action if they continue.
I would just get a lock on the bins, sorted it when my neighbours kept having people over & putting non-recyclable stuff in my bin. Council where I live are very strict snd won't take the bin if anything non-recyclable visible in it.
They are already cunts and you sound too nice. ‘I have filmed you dumping kid shit in the recycling bins, do it again, the vid goes viral’ Signed ANONYMOUS
I think it’s very kind of you to let them use your bin for nappies (I have a baby and would be touched if my neighbours said this).
However, I think if you give your neighbours permission to use your bin it could be a slippery slope. If they’re the kind of people to put nappies in your recycling without asking, I can imagine they wouldn’t be respectful if you were kind enough to let them use your bin. They may end up taking up loads of space and you might not have enough for your own rubbish
Personally, if I was you or if my loved one was asking for advice I’d tell them not to allow any use of the bin, just to avoid any problems down the line.
So I would say:
Hi neighbours,
I noticed nappies in my recycling bin. I’m not sure if they’re yours, but if they are please don’t use my bins as I need the space myself.
Apologies for not coming to talk to you directly, I have autism and find it can be easier to communicate in writing sometimes. If there are any issues please let me know.
Thanks
If it continued I would get him locks or move my bins into my back garden, only putting them out on bin day.
If you really want to let them use your bin I would say:
Hi neighbours,
I noticed nappies in my recycling bin. I’m not sure if they’re yours, but if they are I’d be grateful if you didn’t use my bins as I need the space. Of course if you ever need to use them as a one off, please feel free to ask, and if I have space that will be no issue.
Apologies for not coming to talk to you directly, I have autism and find it can be easier to communicate in writing sometimes. I also wanted to make sure it was clear that I want to help and am happy for you to use my bin every now and then.
I could tell you're autistic before I got to the end. Normies would probably think this is mental, I'd just knock on and tell them to throw them into the right bin, the dirty gets!
Here is how it would go in my house, knock knock………hi neighbour, stop putting your nappies in any of my bins, if you fail to comply they will be returned to you via any open windows, letterbox or other orifices I can find. Goodbye
I think you may have actually overcooked it in trying to be nice. This is a totally acceptable time to be straightforward and firm. 'I have noticed you have been putting nappies into my dry recycling bin. Please kindly do not use my bins for your household waste. Many thanks.'
Too much explaining and niceness. Don’t over explain. Don’t sound so submissive or you’ll be taken advantage of and you are already tbh. They’re being so inconsiderate, absolutely DONT let them use your bins and make it clear.
Do not give them free rein to use your bins, do you have any idea how many nappies they likely have they will fill your bin up and they’re the kind that don’t care. Get a bin lock and be done with it. They know what they’re doing and think you’re a soft touch. The letter you’ve written cements it to them. So tell them to stop and lock your bins.
Thank you! I was hesitant to put a note in their front door in the first place because of, But after reading the comments the first step of putting a note on my bin should hopefully be a better idea — if I still see nappies in my recycling after then I’m going to look at getting the locks for the bins instead.
Do not give them free reign of your bins. If they over flow your bins due to your generosity it’ll just cause problems that aren’t really worth it.
If they have means of transport they should be taking them to the landfill and disposing of the properly. Also if they are the type of people to use them without asking in the first place i personally wouldn’t want to be responsible for what they are throwing away.
Do not under any circumstances offer these people use of your bin. In 6 months time when your bin is overflowing with random shit (no pun intended) you're going to kick yourself.
I would just leave it with the first section and cut out the rest. Then your signature. People are inconsiderate and you are being completely kind and patient with this matter.
No. People who take the piss and put their rubbish in other people's bins are not the kind of people who will a) take a note like this well and b) pay any attention to it. You'd be better off just padlocking your bins shut until bin day. If you want to leave them a note, make it shorter: "Please stop putting nappies into our recycle bins. Thanks". But they will very likely ignore it.
First two paragraphs only. They don't need a lengthy information. Also cut the bit about being happy.
"General waste bins are the black ones. NO NAPPIES IN BROWN [or whatever colour] BINS PLEASE as we can get fined for having non-recyclables in there!" would be something along the lines of what I would put
Just put a quick note in saying, "please use the rubbish bin if you need to get rid of nappies, happy to share the space. If they're put in the recycling bin, they will be returned to you." Let the lack of method of return sit with them.
Hello! I’ve noticed nappies have been placed in our recycling bin & wanted to ask that this doesn’t happen again. I appreciate there may have been a genuine mix up between your bins and mine so wanted to bring it to your attention. Thank you - Ethan no. 9.
While you’re not doing anything wrong here, your note could be read as sanctimonious. If someone is putting used nappies in a recycling bin, they don’t care about whether they are/not recyclable and probably don’t care about the biohazard.
Padlock your bins. That’s all you need to do, and it’s not even hard to do - just poke a hole with soldering iron.
You don't need this much explanation! A simple "no nappies please" on the bin or a "hey, nappies are not recyclable and cannot be placed in the recycling bin" would suffice! If it doesn't work, then maybe more details would help.
Don't speak to them, they didn't ask for your permission before putting nappies in your bin. They're not going to be reasonable people. It will cause future issues. They felt entitled to your bin and are absolutely aware that nappies don't belong recycling... Who on earth thinks nappies go in recycling? You can't put a pizza box in there because of the grease, why on earth would you put biohazard fecal matter in there?
Move the nappies to the general waste bin, and get a lock for your bins. Depending on where the bins are, if you can, get a camera pointed at them out the window or something. Just in case they try anything else, even dumping it by your bins.
You mean well, but they will absolutely take advantage of your kindness. They'll see the locks and put them in someone else's bin, but they won't be your problem anymore.
You're getting a lot of unnecessary criticism here. I think you did a great job and you came across really well in your note.
My advice would be to remove the "Why nappies shouldn't be put in recycling bins" section. It could come across as preachy/bossy/patronising and result in the neighbours becoming defensive. It's also just unnecessary at this stage, although I appreciate your motives in including it because you're trying to be helpful and friendly.
So yeah - same note but remove that middle section.
No one unless thick as mince would think nappies are recyclable - it’s human waste. I wonder if this is deliberate given you’ve said you don’t get on with them. I would either put a note on the bin or through their door just saying - no nappies in recycling Bin please. If it continues then lock the bin.
Theyre being dicks by using your bins, especially for biohaz waste. If it carries on despite attempts to stop, shop the offending neighbour to the council.
Leaving a note for someone you could easily speak to is probably a bad idea, perhaps moreso if you're already not on great terms with them. Also, attempting to educate them via a note is a really bad idea. Save that for the talk and you don't even need to frame it as a lesson. "It's nothing personal. You know what the council are like, and I know they can fine you 400 quid for that!"
The "you know what the council are like," shifts the focus away from them doing something wrong and makes it look like you're both victims of bureaucratic nonsense. lol.
Probably not. Notes like this come across as passive aggressive. You’d be better off actually speaking to them regardless, otherwise you’ll likely make the situation between you worse.
That's a great note. It reads much better than what I would write. "Please stop putting your shitty nappies in my recycling bin, I have to fish those fuckers out of there."
If your bin men are like mine, there is no “health risk” to them because they WILL NOT remove the nappies or even collect your bin if are things that do not belong in there. Which means your bin might end up sitting for another month (or however long it is between pickups). It will be a health risk to you tho.
Just to add to similar replies: don't write a note. By the sound of your neighbours, anything you write will either be negatively misinterpreted or ignored. The fact they are behaving like this with your bin simply reinforces the kind of people they are. I would recommend not engaging at all - in person or in writing, even with the briefest of notes - and simply locking your bin.
"Dear Neighbour, I have noticed soiled nappies have been put in my bin. I would appreciate if you do not put these in my bin going forward, and used your own facilities.
I think a tone of "did you perchance put your nappies into our recycling bin by accident?" followed by the "happy to help if you don't have space bit just in the correct bin please" bit would be great. I've found pretending that I believe people made an error instead of just being incompetent/lacking knowledge goes down smoother.
Source: I am also autistic and this is what I've catalogued based on my interactions with people
They shouldn’t be using your bin - them having too much waste is not your problem. They need to either reduce the amount of waste they are creating, or start using a recycling centre or pay for an extra bin to be collected by a private waste collection service
Put the used nappies on their doorstep if you are certain that it is them. If there's any doubt, put a note through all neighbour doors stating that someone is putting them in your recycling bin and that it must stop immediately.
You are polite I would just knock and let them know someone at their property was seen on the door camera fly tipping into someone elses bin and to pack it in.
It is clearly deliberate nobody puts dirty pads in the recycling, as if the dustmen don't deal with enough.
My British passive aggressive way would be to say something like: ‘I totally understand that in certain lights or in darkness the bin colours are hard to work out so just for clarity, the recycling is green and the general waste is grey’ (or whatever it is) which allows the other person to save face.
this note is the essence of Britishness. Why do you need to tell them that you're happy to if they use your rubbish bin? Do you mean it and will you be happy if they start doing it?
Ethan, you don’t have to bend over backwards to accommodate idiotic prats like your neighbours.
‘NAPPIES DON’T RECYCLE. USE YOUR OWN BIN. DOORBELL CAM IN OPERATION’
If they escalate or ignore, get advice from the council. In my ward, someone would be sent round from the council to tell them not to ignore waste protocols with the threat of a spot penalty.
Please refrain from disposing of your waste in my bins.
Regards, x'
As other have said, I wouldn't invite them to put them in your regular bin either, because it won't stop at nappies - give an inch and they'll take a mile. I understand you're trying to be compassionate and I'll salute you for that but people will absolutely take the piss.
If they are ignorant/inconsiderate enough to put their used nappies in your recycling bin I would not recommend offering use of your other bin. They are very likely to take the mick.
Are you happy with them using your bins? It feels like your asking for trouble if they are already being very inconsiderate. You need to set firm boundaries but also dont directly accuse them of anything initially to reduce conflict.
"Dear neighbour, used nappies have been disposed of in our recycling bin. I presume this is a one off mistake or as the result of a teenager short cutting their chores or something. I appreciate we are all busy and mistakes happen but please can you ensure this does not happen again otherwise further steps will need to be taken.
The door would be chapped and the nappies placed back inside their own property and they'd be told in no uncertain terms to use their own bin otherwise next time ill leave them somewhere inconvenient to them. I have zero issues about offending people using my bins that barely have space for my own shit never mind their kids nappies lol
"Hello neighbour, I've noticed you are putting soiled nappies in my recycling bin. Not only should you not be putting anything in my waste bins, but putting human waste in the recycling also causes many issues. Please immediately stop doing this, thank you."
If I were the neighbour responsible, I would read this, understand the situation, apologise, and ensure it didn't happen again. However, from your perspective, I would double-check that you have sent this message to the correct neighbour. Like someone suggested get a camera to confirm
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u/Frozen_Star79 22h ago •
To be honest, I probably wouldn't go into that much detail, and I defintely wouldn't invite people to start putting shit in my bin, but you sound like a better person than me.