I’m 19 and got my first tattoo done by a friend of mine today.

I already expected the quality might not be A-tier, but I personally like it, and so do my friends and parents.

However, my girlfriend is absolutely losing her mind over it. She’s been arguing with me about it nonstop, and honestly, I find her reaction pretty weird.

I understand that tattoos aren’t everyone’s taste, but it’s my body and my decision.
I didn’t expect her to love it, but I certainly didn’t expect this much backlash over it.

P.S: Guys, please understand that this tattoo is not affiliated with or intended to represent any racist, hateful, extremist, or hate-related ideology or movement. The imagery is personal and symbolic, representing the cycle of life and death, mortality, eternity, and renewal. The number 2007 represents my birth year. There is no hidden political or ideological message behind it, and any resemblance to symbols used by extremist groups is entirely unintentional. Please don’t make assumptions about me based on a tattoo.

Guys, what the fuck. I genuinely don’t know what to do right now.
My boyfriend and I are in a long-distance relationship. He visits me sometimes, and I visit him. We’ve been together for 9 months, and this time he came to stay with me for 5 days.
Here’s the problem. My closet was a FUCKING DISASTER. And I don’t mean just a little messy. I mean genuinely disgusting.
There was an old lunchbox, a wine glass, pads, random rubbish, dirty clothes, underwear, and just so much shit everywhere. It was BAD. Like, really fucking bad.
I knew how disgusting it was, and I was already extremely embarrassed about it. That’s why I specifically asked him NOT to go into my closet.
Well, yesterday I came home, and he told me he had a surprise for me.
I walked into my room, opened my closet, and IT WAS COMPLETELY CLEAN.
HE CLEANED THE WHOLE FUCKING THING.
Apparently, he had taken out THREE HUGE BAGS OF RUBBISH.
And guys, I just started crying. Not happy tears. I was absolutely MORTIFIED.
I couldn’t even look at him properly because all I could think about was the fact that he’d seen EVERYTHING. Every disgusting thing I’d left in there. My dirty underwear, old rubbish, literally everything.
And now he knows how gross I can be.
The worst part? He got upset with me because I wasn’t happy or grateful about the surprise.
BUT HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPY WHEN ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS THAT MY BOYFRIEND NOW THINKS HIS GIRLFRIEND IS A DISGUSTING FUCKING PIG????
I KNOW he probably had good intentions. I KNOW he was trying to do something nice for me. And I genuinely appreciate the effort.
BUT I SPECIFICALLY ASKED HIM NOT TO GO IN THERE.
It wasn’t just about the mess. It was about the fact that I didn’t want him to see that side of me. I wasn’t ready for him to see something so personal and embarrassing.
And now I feel so exposed, ashamed, and honestly just humiliated.
He’s gone back home now, and I’m STILL crying about it. I literally cannot stop thinking about him going through all my disgusting stuff.
We’ve been together for 9 months, and I keep imagining him looking at all that rubbish and thinking, “What the fuck is wrong with my girlfriend?”
I feel like I can never look him in the eyes again.
I don’t even know what I’m supposed to say to him.
Am I overreacting? Am I being ungrateful? Has anyone else experienced something like this?
PLEASE tell me what you would do because I’m genuinely losing my fucking mind over this.

This is Muffin, and she is quite literally the perfect cat. We found her at our door with a respiratory infection, and tracked down the owners, who said we could keep her. The owners just (like literally days ago) had a newborn baby, and have another child and a bunch of other cats. They texted today that they wanted her back, after her being here for a month. The husband apparently has been depressed without her, but she was literally an outside cat when she lived with them and I don’t trust them to take good care of her with the respiratory infection. It just feels weird to me that someone with a newborn that just got out of the NICU would be so concerned about a cat instead of their child. I get that animals can be really helpful in healing, but they aren’t walking SSRIs. I really want to keep her and it feels like the right thing to do, but I don’t know if I am being biased towels the original owners because I want to keep her so badly. Please feel free to ask for additional details if you need any clarification!!

ETA: They do know where we live since they dropped off her medical paperwork and said bye to her, so I am concerned about them showing up :( Also my dumb ass did text her this morning to ask if she was sure so not responding/blocking might not be an option

UPDATE: Text has been sent saying that we don’t feel comfortable giving her back and that she will be staying here. I didn’t block yet, just in case that sets her off, but I will after a day or so. Cross your fingers for me that there’s no trouble!! Thank you everyone for all your advice :)

FINAL UPDATE!!!: Owner responded saying she understood and apologized for the confusion. I won’t be continuing communication or anything, and Muffin is officially staying here for good!! Thank you again to everyone for helping me!

My husband and I have been married for 3 years. We have a 2-year-old son and I’m currently pregnant with our second baby.

So I recently found out that about a year ago, my husband emailed a woman he found online who was advertising sexual services. He was basically trying to arrange a meetup with her.

I literally just found out about this, a whole year later. I have no idea if they ever actually met or if anything physical happened.

And the weirdest part? I think he knows I found out, because things have been tense between us. But instead of saying anything, he’s acting cold and distant, almost like HE’S the one who’s mad at ME.

We haven’t actually talked about it yet. I’m still trying to process everything and honestly don’t even know how to bring it up.
I know my husband, and I’m pretty sure he’s going to get defensive, somehow turn it around on me, or make excuses instead of just admitting he screwed up.

The thing is, I’m not even saying I want a divorce. We have a family, I love him, and I honestly think I could work through this. But I need him to actually acknowledge what he did and be honest with me.

I just can’t wrap my head around the fact that he went out of his way to contact another woman for sex while we were married, and now somehow I’m dealing with his attitude on top of everything else.
Would you consider this cheating even if I don’t know whether they met? Has anyone been through something similar? How did you handle confronting your spouse?

Ok so throwaway for obvious reasons. I (18M) am in my first semester in the dorm at my university and got paired with a random roommate. Great guy, but he’s the most nervous person I’ve ever met. Early in the semester our floor friend group went to a student org thing for the free food, and a girl was clearly checking him out so we told him to go talk to her. He look at her then said “brb bathroom” and ended up barfing. He later explained that just the thought of talking to a girl made him insanely nauseous. So when he finally got a girlfriend (friend of a friend in our group) we were all super happy for him. She got him out of his shell and he seemed way happier.

Then one day I get home and he asks “hey can I talk to you.” I think nothing of it.

TW: Poop

He tells me that while they were having devils tango time in our room, she pooped on him, on purpose. He freaked out and threw her off him, but she wanted him to be into it. There’s a lot grosser things that were said and done after that but I’ll spare the details.

He wanted my advice because he really likes her, talking to girls is still really hard for him, and he’s scared she’ll dump him if he says anything. He also hates confrontation. I was appalled and told him I had to take a lap. I walked around the hallways for a while completely lost on what to do. Eventually I told him he has to decide whether putting up with it is worth keeping her, or whether risking the relationship is worth making it stop. I also said I’m only half glad he told me, but please never update me, I want to stay oblivious.
They didn’t break up and everything in the friend group seemed to be the same but I had no idea if he ever talked to her. Key work: HAD

A few weeks later I come in and the room smells awful, but she’s not there, so I figured it’s just a boys dorm thing. Then a few weeks after that I walk in on them, and she’s in the middle of… you know. And again, sparing the gross details, but we have lofted beds so... I left, walked around freaking out, and now I’m back with no idea what to do.

The biggest issue is the friend group. If I request a room transfer I probably won’t live near them anymore, and I’d miss the movie and game nights on our floor. I’m also worried that if he gets a new roommate, I’m just passing the problem on to someone else. And who knows where I’d end up. What do I do?

TLDR, my socially awkward roommate’s gf poops on him in our room, he told me he wasn’t into it, and I just walked in on them doing it in our shared dorm room plz help

original: https://www.reddit.com/r/whatdoIdo/comments/1xpcmbm/comment/19s96e4a966n5/?screen_view_count=1

ngl i did NOT expect this many comments. i read almost all of them, even the YTA ones. a lot of y’all were brutal about my husband, and tbh… he needed it.

so i stayed at my mom’s for 2 nights. told him i needed space and he could call me when he figured out whose side he was on. he texted the 2nd night asking to talk, so i said yes.

he came over and asked me straight up if i posted about us on reddit. a coworker sent him the link. he said he read every comment even the ones calling him spineless and the one that really got him was the one asking what he’d say if my manager was a stranger.

he finally admitted he’d been hiding behind “it’s family” when all that really meant was expecting me to just take it.

i went home the next day. then yesterday morning Dana showed up at our apartment furious about the post. she said i was trying to ruin her life and “exaggerating the fainting thing.”

before i could even say anything, my husband stepped in front of me and lost it on her. told her she wrote up his pregnant wife, mocked her doctor’s note, and kept putting her on closing shifts. then he told her to gtfo.

now she’s blowing up the family gc, MIL is still being weirdly neutral, and i’ve muted all of them.

work update: Dana’s transfer is permanent. i’m still at 32 hrs w/ my stool, the lawyer consult is this week, and i’m bringing everything.

thanksgiving is prob just gonna be me, my husband, and my parents. honestly? fine by me.

tl;dr: stayed at my mom’s, husband found the post, finally realized he was making excuses for his sister, and yesterday morning Dana showed up at our apartment and got shut down hard.

Long story short, my neighbor/friend (Greta 40s) decided about 2 years ago to uproot her family and become one of those traveling rv families. They sold their house and most of their belongings to start their journey. They had a huge yard sale before they left and I bought many items, including a row boat, and several holiday decor items (probably 20 or so for different seasons). Greta gave me a great deal on all items. I quickly paid, said my goodbyes, wished them well and they were off. Fast forward to this month when they unexpectedly came back home after their daughters (4, 6, 9 and 13) expressed their dislike of the lifestyle.

Now that they are back they found a rental and Greta texts me and asks me for most of the items back, saying that they have a house again and room to decorate and store the boat and that her kids would like them back. To clarify, nothing that I bought was old or a family heirloom, most was just mass produced items or thrifted items, and she did NOT offer to pay. Even though the items are not old or worth much, I do love them, and even have some hanging in the house currently as I’m decorating for Xmas. I’m obviously not emotionally attached to most of these items but I have two young kids who use the boat regularly and who really enjoy the items, especially some of the grinch stuff and spooky Halloween decor.

So if this was you, what would you do? Legally I bought the items and have no obligation to return them but what about on a moral level? What do you say, Reddit?

I have not retuned the text so time is of the essence here! Thank you in advance for all your time and advice.

If there's a different way let me know I like to know what people like? What's nicer or more welcoming?

Hey, my GF’s cat is barely acknowledging my GF whenever she calls her over, or walks through the front door. Meanwhile, when I so much as walk around the house, the cat is following me around, meowing, purring, rubbing herself against my leg.

I get that the cat decides who she likes on her own terms, but it’s making my GF upset and I don’t know what to do about it 🤷 I’ve already tried paying the cat less attention, but she became very depressed until specifically I gave her attention again.

What do I do to make the cat less interested in me without upsetting her??

Note: my GF isn’t upset with me, she’s just upset in general that her companion animal is no longer interested in her

So basically earlier this year my wife at the time asked me to help her get a new job in my industry as she was not interested in her career path. I have many colleagues in my industry and was able to help get her an entry-level job.

A few months later, I then joined the same company we worked at different locations. However, the area manager had her come train me, which I thought was weird considering I am like five level levels above her position, but whatever I didn’t mind.

But like a week into the training, things got really weird and she basically hated every breath I took became very awkward and I really wasn’t sure what to do about it home life got pretty sad as well to the point to where there was no relationship things weren’t great, but they were not filled with hate every minute until this point.

A few months after I start this job, she decided she wants to move out whatever OK we haven’t been getting along. She tells me she’s moving hours away with family.

Well, I just found out that she is currently living with and in an intimate relationship with my area manager; my direct boss, whom helped me get her the job. Well their relationship is already on the rocks and is not going well at all they both are telling me about it…

So now I have my ex-wife and my direct manager, both reaching out to me in regards to each other, and it is extremely uncomfortable, and I do not know what to do. I don’t even want to go to work, mind you she moved out like 7 months ago…

I can block her number sure , but my area manager is messaging me from his work number.

Pleaseee help 😭 my brain can’t comprehend this is even real

I've been talking to this girl I met online (Discord) for over a year now. She's kind of weird and has obsessive tendencies. I considered her one of my online friends, so naturally I confided in her that I'm depressed (and sometimes I consider offing myself). She seemed empathetic and talking to her made me feel better. Well today she sent me this text, which I found strange. I can't tell if she's trolling or not. I don't know what to make of it.

Over a month ago, I discovered that my partner had hidden a previous marriage and a complicated history surrounding it. Her parents knew too.

Her past was never the problem. Neither I nor my family have any issue with divorce. My brother's partner is divorced, and she's always been welcomed into our family without a second thought. The irony is my fiance didn't like my brothers partner much and would address her as a divorcee when we had any fights.

What broke me was the dishonesty. I'd grown incredibly close to her family and considered them my own. Knowing they all kept something this significant from me shattered my trust. We were engaged and planning our wedding early next year.

I ended the relationship over a month ago and blocked her and her family. They still keep trying to reach out, but I haven't responded.

I thought she was the love of my life, but I genuinely don't see how I could ever trust her or her family again, however much I wish I could.

Did I make the right decision? Has anyone walked away from someone they still loved because the trust was gone? Do you eventually stop questioning yourself?

I'm 34, and starting over feels daunting. But the thought of spending my life questioning the person closest to me feels worse.

i feel like this should have some warning but i don't know. proceed with caution

okay um. I'm 19m, living with my mom and my dad. I have a sister too, 18, but she has been staying with her boyfriend.

My mom and I are planning to move soon, mostly to get away from my dad. We plan to be out by January.

Here's the thing.... I am scared. Very scared. I can't explain everything my dad has done because we'd be here for hours, but he has hidden cameras in the vents at home and shown up to my mom's friend's place banging a wrench (or whatever it was), just to give you a clue. He's been living with us since I was 9? 10? And yells constantly. It's been worse the past few months because he knows we plan to move out.

I feel bad for him, because he makes some good points. I can't say my mom has always been the best "partner" (she doesn't consider herself in a relationship with him) but I don't blame her. My dad violated a past restraining order she had on him several years ago (so it's too late to do anything about that now). He keeps saying it's cruel to leave him without a place to live and that he's done nothing to deserve being left (?????). He's especially upset that we're taking both the dogs too because he loves them.

I'm scared that he's going to ruin everything. He has been trying to sabotage the move since he found out about it. My sister and I have been telling my mom to get out for years, but she's always been scared and said that he'll ruin her life if she does.... I don't know what changed this year but I'm glad it did and that she's trying to get out.

I am a very anxious and paranoid person, and I happen to watch a lot of true crime. So, I think that's where my fear is developing, that he is going to genuinely hurt her. Last night, he was screaming so loudly it woke me up and slamming things so hard I could feel the walls shaking. I don't think he has ever laid hands on her, but he does throw things at her and sends nasty text messages. Spam calls when she doesn't answer. Texts and spam calls me to tell her to answer. You get it...

My sister sort of moved in with her boyfriend to get away from this stupid house. I keep telling my mom that if I had a friend (I don't, I'm so lonely lol), I would do the same and get out.

Anyway, tldr I guess, I'm scared my dad is going to hurt my mom or prevent us from moving. I'm wondering if there is literally anything I could do. I've tried to talk to her about these concerns, but she brushes it off because she knows I don't want to be involved in whatever they have going on and tries to handle everything herself.

I've thought about asking her to send me screenshots of the things he says to her, just to have them, but I don't even know what I'd do with them. And I don't want to do anything she wouldn't be okay with.

What do I do? Is there anything I can do?? And sorry if this post jumps all over the place.

I really didn’t want to do that but I 100% knew that there will be something and unfortunately I’m right. Turns out she’s chatting with her ex, her ex can’t get over a break up so he always spams her, she used to tell and show me that, it appears that they’ve been secretly chatting. Now on top she’s adding guys on instagram when she’s out, guys who have sexual intentions with her, she still keeps them. What do I do next? I’m thinking of playing dumb and see if she will bring this up on her own, or just leave her in total silence. It comes to the point where I want to stay out of curiosity to see how bad she can lie and hide things, just play around. I’ve done everything for her , right now she’s at her lowest, has depression, anger issues and so on. I wouldn’t leave her for these issues but lying and hiding things, nope.

hi i was just wondering if anyone had tips on how to deal with grief. not sure if this is the right place. anyways for context my late gf committed when we were 16, both girls and she had crazy homophobic parents. it’s been almost exactly 3 years and i can’t forget about it. is this going to be permanent? i can barely remember her voice anymore and it’s killing me. maybe it’s cause i think im partly responsible.

I think the worst part about this is ive got a gf right now, been with her for the past year and she can’t understand why i still care, neither do i but still. she’s the only person i’ve ever told, and i guess it hurt a bit that she found it funny.

anyways tldr how do i get over her, i don’t want to cause anyone any harm because of it.

I'm 33 years old, my life is pretty organized on the outside, but inside I feel completely lost.

I've been struggling with low mood, anxiety, emptiness, and lack of motivation for a while now. Things that used to bring me joy no longer interest me as much. I have no real desire to socialize, I have a hard time being alone, and I often feel like I'm just getting through my days.

Everything got worse because of a relationship with one person. I met a much younger girl, with whom I talked a lot, wrote to each other almost every day, and confided personal things. Her attention, kindness, and the feeling that I meant something to someone started to mean a lot to me. The problem is that she has a boyfriend and only sees me as a friend. I understand this intellectually, but emotionally I can't get away from her.

I realize that I've become almost addicted to her attention. I open our conversation several times a day, read old messages, and look for that feeling of warmth that I experienced back then. If she calls, it can brighten my day. If she moves away, I quickly become overwhelmed with sadness, anxiety and a feeling of unimportance. First thought in the morning is she. And so I spin in a vicious circle. Got a lot of advices to cut her off but I simply can't do that. Our friendsship or what is left of it means too much to me and those small 'bread crumbs' of her attention still give me hope for something.

I began to notice that there was probably much more going on behind the scenes than just being in love. I have had problems with self-confidence, a sense of self-worth and loneliness for a long time. It's as if I need confirmation from others that I'm good enough and that I mean something to someone. On the other hand, I often push people away, I can't maintain friendships and I wait for others to make the first move, because I always think I don't belong anywhere. Have a huge social anxiety of meeting new people and even opening up to my relatives and people that I feel safe with.

I'm also not satisfied professionally. I want change, a new job, new challenges and the feeling that I'm progressing in life, but I have a hard time moving on from a dead end because of my anxiety. All of this has even started to affect my ability to do my job. I have hobbies but have no energy to do anything. Nothing makes sense.

At 33, I want something completely normal: inner peace, joy of life, self-confidence, friends and, one day, a partner with whom I could build a future together.

Sometimes I wonder if I got so attached to this girl because I was already so lonely and empty. Maybe I'm looking for a sense of acceptance and importance in her that I've been missing for a long time.

I'm wondering if anyone has experienced something similar and how to get over it, because it's all too much. How did you move away from the person you became emotionally dependent on? How did you find yourself again, build your self-confidence and learn to be happy on your own?

I'm not looking for comfort, but above all honest experiences and advice. I want to feel like I'm living my own life again, instead of letting others determine my well-being.

EDIT: I am on meds for almost 2 years now, have been better but this girl crushed it all again. A month ago I recieved some additional meds and started doing therapy (1st visit) but can't seem to see any improvement.. All I want to do is be a couch potato and survive another day. My diagnosis is 'mild depression and anhedonia'.

Hello! I can’t get a driving license for health reasons, and I’m currently studying scholarship in pharmacy at university.

My family and I currently live in an apartment, but my parents have been considering buying a house.

They’ve been looking at different properties, and I suggested buying one literally next to my university.
It’s more expensive because of its location, but we’re actually going to check it out today.

Do you guys think living right next to campus would genuinely make my life easier? Would having your family home next to your university make a significant difference in your daily life?

I (M25) starting talking to this girl (F23) couple months ago, matched on tinder while she was in my state, she left and we’ve been talking since. She moved to my state months couple months ago and we’ve been talking, made it exclusive but never made anything official like bf gf. we go on dates, explore, try new places foods she’s funny asf i’m funny asf everything’s smooth. i think i messed up there cause im moving out of state in a couple months (should mention i am military) and i guess its partly my fault but shes been insinuating getting married so she can come with me and we can get a house blah blah. and ive kinda just been going a long with it like yeah maybe we could and discussing what it could possibly be like if we did.

at the same time, she’s great and all but i still think about what it would be like if i was with a woman more so my type i guess idek. i’m so in my head about if i should continue talking to her or maybe our futures could be pretty cool cause we have similar goals and ambitions but she also has sort of a lot of health conditions that turn me off like she has svt which is abnormal bpm sometimes, or like low energy sometimes of what she got idk sounds bad on my part i know but i be thinking if i want to deal with that in the future. im just yappin idk what are yall thoughts i feel like i already know the answer i just wanted to come on here

So I have this online friend that I met when playing an MMO. Originally I find him an interesting person. He showed signs of autism, which I noticed quickly, but still a rather kind person.

We chatted quite a lot. Talked about games, and our lives. Eventually it seems he values me wayyy too importantly in his life. I def dont see our friendship the same way he does.

I previously told him explicitly that I considered our friendship one-sided and toxic. He saw me as his best friend, but I didn't feel the same way. I felt increasingly uncomfortable with how much emotional importance he placed on our relationship. For example, he would apologize every time he took a few minutes to reply because he needed to do something else. I asked him to stop because I didn't want us to develop an expectation that we had to be available in front of our monitors at all times. He agreed, but then started saying things like "I'm now resisting the urge to apologize" whenever it happened again. On another occasion, he told me he had argued with his father because his father wanted him to shower and brush his teeth, but he refused because it would interrupt his conversation with me. He insisted that talking to me was more important than his own basic hygiene. I found this extremely unhealthy.

Eventually, I told him that I had my own problems to deal with and couldn't commit to a long-term friendship. I specifically said that I couldn't fulfil what a friend should do, that I couldn't see how he could help me with my problems, and that I hoped he could live his best life without me. I also explicitly told him not to wait for me, because I couldn't promise I would ever return.

This did not make him stop messaging me.

What makes this concerning is the content of his messages over the past year. He repeatedly tells me that I'm his primary reason for living, that he continues living because he promised to be here when I return, and that practically every positive thing he has accomplished is indirectly thanks to me. He has also said that his life is almost good again, but that the only thing missing is me, and that he cannot truly be happy until I return. In another message, he described feeling more dead than alive and said that thinking about me makes his doubts about continuing disappear. Most recently, he told me he might have seriously considered giving up on everything if it weren't for me.

He also repeatedly insists that our friendship isn't toxic because I have such a positive impact on his life. This is despite me having already explained that I considered the relationship unhealthy and one-sided.

Now, he has found my main Reddit account and messaged me there. He claims he found it by accident and says that seeing me active confirms I'm alive and somewhat okay, which comforts him. He acknowledged that contacting me on another platform might violate the space he promised to give me, but felt that sending one message to remind me he was still waiting was reasonable. He also suggested I could reply to him on Reddit instead of Discord.

I honestly don't know what to do anymore. I don't necessarily believe he is deliberately manipulating me, and I think he genuinely feels everything he says. However, I find it extremely uncomfortable that he has made me responsible for his happiness and seemingly his reasons for living. I don't want this friendship anymore. Im suffocating. I shouldn't have read the messages he sent me.

...Im scared. Please tell me what to do. I want to block him from everything and just move on. But I fear he will just start messaging me with another account or something. Or, worse, actually end himself. I really, really, dont know what to do.

Edit: Thanks everyone for the advice. There are so many I cannot reply all, but I have read them all. Most people saying I should just block him and move on. To those who said this kind of limerence is common in autism, I agree. Because Im autistic myself, and unfortunately I have been in the same place as him at one point in ny life, and still sometimes experience some impulses myself (though not to this extend, not even close). I hesitate to end this because I can see myself in him. I dont hate him. It's just that....I now know what it feels like from the recieving end. And this...this is too much. One side of me, (like most here) is telling myself I cant be responsible for him so I should just block and move on, another side of me (and some of you here) thinks I should try to contact his family before doing so. At the end of the day I still want him to live his own life, and become someone who relies on others less. Thank you for giving me strength to proceed. Truly.

I was in some kind of long-distance situationship with this guy, we did meet once and we had sex.

A few weeks ago, it became really intense sexually and emotionally, we told each other we liked each other and he told me how much he liked it when I was asking him about his day etc. He said he would move out of his parents’ house in a couple of weeks/months and I’m welcome to come over. We also sexted a lot and exchanged nudes a lot.

Then, one day, while still texting and responding to my sexual stuff, it seemed like his replies got less fast (not unusual, there are times when this happens and then everything is like before). I did notice a new girl who was liking his posts (since before we had those intense weeks) was also tagged in his stories, yet he was still engaging sexually with me. A few days later I sent him some nudes and made a joke saying “is your wife seeing this or what?” and he said “hahaha no but I have some news regarding that, I will tell you when I’m less busy”. He then told me how gorgeous I looked and hearted my nudes. I found his response weird and I kinda poured my heart out, no big confession or anything, but I told him I wanted to just meet up again and have a serious conversation about this, because it’s been going on like this for a long time.

He replied with some long texts, saying how beautiful and funny and yada yada I am and how he likes me as a person and likes the kinky stuff, that he doesn’t wanna hurt me, but for the past few weeks he had been seeing someone and he just didn’t know how to tell me (so it took him a few weeks, a stupid joke from my side and me pouring my heart out for him to tell me). He said he wanted to be friends and I said no, he asked if we could at least still stay in the mutual friends group chat, I said I didn’t care.

We wished each other all the best, I muted him, I don’t watch his posts but according to our mutual friends he is only posting his new girlfriend, and he is watching my stories but ofc we don’t text anymore.

Did I do the right thing to end the friendship? And not to send her the screenshots? Something like this happened to me before, that a guy was sexting me and then admitted that he was dating someone, and his girlfriend called me and asked for the screenshots (I sent them on her request, she was mad at me and not at him, they’re married now).

I feel so much shame and regret over how I handled years of bullying. How do I stop blaming myself?
This is the first time I am letting all of this out. I seriously need to get this off my chest because it's eating me alive. How do you even begin to make peace with the fact that you were severely bullied for years, and you just... took it?

All through middle school and high school, I was an easy target. I was quiet, had zero friends, and didn't know how to stand up for myself. A guy gave me a degrading nickname in middle school, and soon the whole class joined in. In high school, it got even worse—not just boys, but a toxic group of girls I foolishly tried to cling to for acceptance would mock me too.
My coping mechanism for the entire thing? I would just smile and laugh it off like it didn't hurt, hoping they'd get bored and stop. They never did. I had panic attacks every single morning before going to school, my brain was completely fried from the stress, and I survived classes purely by cheating because I couldn't focus on anything else.

Now, looking back, I am filled with so much regret and self-hatred. I see other girls getting bullied now and immediately standing up for themselves, while I just sat there and let them crush my self-worth. I feel so pathetic for how I handled it.

I'm 17 now, and the trauma and severe social anxiety have completely isolated me. I'm currently trying to study on my own to start fresh, but I feel like I've wasted my whole adolescence and I don't even know who I am anymore.

If anyone has been through severe bullying and managed to heal from this kind of deep-seated regret and shame: how did you do it? How do you stop blaming yourself for not fighting back sooner?