I asked my boyfriend (40M) almost a year ago to install a large shelf in my bedroom (we don't live together and see each other about 2-3x/week). After asking multiple times sporadically to remind him (it's not as easy as we see each other in the evenings after my kids are asleep and don't want to wake them), I gave up and hired someone to do it for me, and he is soooo pissed. I think he sees it as an ego blow, but seriously, it's been a year. If he really wanted to help me, he would have prioritized it, regardless of how busy he is. I don't have any sympathy for him.

I (F, 37) went on 3 dates with a very nice guy (M, 45) that I was attracted by. On the 2nd date, we kissed & I was taken aback by how chapped his lips were. It felt like kissing a turtle, but the rest of the date was very enjoyable.

On date 3 I gifted him my favorite organic chapstick as a present. On date 4 he showed up again with very chapped lips, this time there was unsightly white skin hanging from his lips. He also had white hair growing out of his ears. After that, I sent him a message about how much I enjoyed his presence and our conversation and anyhow I'd like to kiss him again but that he has some personal grooming to take care of. I shared that his lips are chapped and that he has hair growing out of his ears, and that I'd like it if he can take care of it.

After that, he stopped talking to me. AITA for giving him honest feedback?

Background: Me (33) and Newly Married wife (34) and I have a 5 year old son (my step) and 6 month old son. We have been married for 2 years, of which the son had been co-sleeping with her for years prior. He is absolutely attached to her at the hip. The kid screams in the middle of night, kicks, bucks, whines to be held all night. As the new baby came, I convinced her (rough) to put a kids bed in our room to start transitioning him out of our bed, knowing how tough this would be with a newborn. This has been a huge point of contention. She was even looking into purchasing a bigger main bed to accommodate the boy.

Fast forward a year- the son wakes up screaming for his mom anywhere between 10p -3am, waking us all up, demanding to be held and wakes baby up (bedside bassinet). He screams "no, stop huddling him, hug me". This is nightly. Mom is amazing and breastfeeds a few times a night with a 5 year old climbing all over her. She is completely touched out, and yes, this affects our relationship.

The other night was the final straw. Same pattern. He comes into our bed after screaming and waking us up at 11pm (wow, we got 30 minutes alone). I allow him to fall asleep and carry him back to his bed, twice. Mom gets livid that I might wake him up. I said he doesn't belong in his bed, it's too early, and we ALL need our sleep. She responds with "no, you aren't moving him again, you don't belong in this bed". I remove my self for the night and later tell his that this is not right, we are all suffering from not putting in the effort and getting the 5 year old to his own room. This will not continue. He is out. This is the largest fight we've had indicating that this is hill she is willing to die on. To me this shows weird attachment issues by her and somehow by me stating the obvious solution is a grave crime against her son. I'm just solving a problem of getting sleep, not being touched out.

TLDR: Putting foot down for 5 year old being incredible disruptive co-sleeping and its a grave crime against wife. AITAH?

My roommate hasn't paid his share of the rent for two months. He claims he just "forgot."lol. I've been covering him half out of my own pocket, but didn’t really feel like doing it forever..

Yesterday, I changed the Wi-Fi password and told him he can have the new one once he pays me back, because I am tired. He called me toxic and said I'm "not letting him live." He's currently sitting in his room with no internet and is furious

AITA?

Hey y’all!

I (F22) am having my wedding next year, and I decided to not invite my brother’s fiancée (F42) to my wedding. I want some outside perspective to know if I’m taking the wrong course of action here.

They have been together for about 3-4 years, and throughout their whole relationship it has been nothing but drama between her and my family. I honestly don’t really know her, I see her at every holiday but she makes no effort to speak to me (although I have tried to start conversations, they all fall flat).

About 6 months ago they had a very messy brake up that ended in police being called, and dirty laundry being aired out by my brother (M33). Apparently, she called my entire family abusive and narcissistic, made fun of my mothers weight, and told him that “you just want to go to your sisters wedding to fuck her friends.” Mind you, my friends are so much younger than him, not interested, and also he would never.

I officially sent the invite to him after they broke up, but they have since gotten back together. She has blocked me on social media even though I never talk to her, so it’s not like I can make amends even if I wanted to (also don’t have her number).

I don’t think my brother will attend my wedding if she is not invited too. But I really do believe my wedding day will be more stressful if she is there considering all the drama.

I am prepared to face the fact they this might be the hill my brother is willing to die on, but am I wrong for this?

Also, I’m not actually sure if she is his fiancée. She announced their engagement 2 days after mine. When asked, my brother said he never actually wants to get married and “got her a ring because she deserves it.” But he has never called her his fiancée so, idk I just thought that was odd.

Hi! Me (30F) and my partner (30M) live abroad, we are back for 5 weeks in Jan-Dec and we plan to do the same next year, so we could spend that festive period with my family.

Its my fiances sisters 10th wedding anniversary on NYE so we have a cabin booked 30th dec- 2nd Jan with his family.

My mum brought this up and said would we be spending xmas with my parents since we are spending nye with his. I said sure as long as they tell me what they are doing. My brother (40M) has a partner who doesnt like travelling and i know the last few years my parents have gone to them. They live 2.5 hours away and dont have any guest spaces, so my parents drive over for like 1pm and leave at like 8pm. We have done this drive a few times and my fiance gets super car sick each time. My parents said yes that would be the plan, I said i wasnt sure if that would work and could we make alternate arrangements- could they come here since my parents have enough rooms for everyone to stay so they can split the driving up- but thats a no go because brothers partner doesnt like travelling.

I feel like asking my partner to be car sick for 5 hours on xmas is going to be a hard sell. On top of this my family dont really get festive, since i was 17 every year my mum would have a freak out and 'cancel' it because of an argument with my brother. They stopped putting a tree up, we arent allowed to play any games because my brother doesnt like them- generally its not a festive vibe. Also if we go to my brothers xmas will just be the dinner my parents wont really go anything festive for the rest of the period either.

My partner and his family are one of those families who treat xmas like the most important day of the year, they get super festive and honestly the last two years where it has been just me and my partner abroad he has brought all his family traditions to our little xmas and it has been really fun- no family arguments, no cancelling xmas, just silly games, and lots of tasty food, and focusing making lots of memories together.

Anyway my mum cried when i tried to bring it up, she said shes barely seen me for years and now we arent spending xmas together and im seeing my partners family all over new years as well. I get her point but I feel like shes being unfair, you cant spend years saying "its just a stupid day we shouldnt make this big a deal about it" and then flip the script when i dont want to force my fiance in a car for 5 hours, to spend the festive period being decidedly unfestive. I remember being very upset when i was 17 and they first 'cancelled' xmas, i felt like my family didnt want to spend time together like my friends families did and i remember her saying during that conversation "its just a stupid day we make memories every other day of the year" and i tried to bring up that and she just got more upset.

Idk AITA i want to spend the day with them but i dont want the day to suck for my fiance and i want to make happy memories with him.

I (single 55F) have a sister who I will call Dawn (54F). Dawn and I grew up in a perfect family, our parents are wealthy. Dawn is a drug addict, our parents enabled her drugs and poor life choices (3 marriages). Dawn has been a functioning drug addict but always seeked my parents financial help. My parents purchased her a home, a shop so that she could run her business and the property had a MIL home which she rents out to her drug friends. My sister with her business and rental should have a lot of money but she spent it on drugs.

Four years ago my parents started to mentally decline with Alzheimer's. They lived with me in my home (that I purchased on my own) but soon that became unsafe for them. I need to hire full time help or find them a facility. I own a business so staying home was not an option. I weighed all options and decided that since they have always been so social that a facility would be best. I found the perfect facility that matched their life style and I hired in extra help so that they would be safe and happy. I have full POA. I discovered that they had been giving my sister a lot of money. The last year they gave her over 150 thousand, she blew it all. She conned them out of the money as they got check after check forgetting they already given her a check. I discovered this after I became POA. After I placed my parents I knew I needed to sell their home to help pay for their care. Their home was over 5000 sq ft. It went on the market and sold fast with a fast closing. I begged Dawn to help with the house, there was so much to go though. She told me to "F**k Off that I get paid to do it". I have never taken a dime from them. Over the years I have asked my sister to please visit them, she only lives 15 minutes from them. She never visited and only has seen them maybe 3-4 times over the years. I cut off communication with her unless it was necessary.

Now my sister is dealing with a disease due to her life choices and lack of care. A disease that was so curable but now there is no stopping it. My sister is dying and in the process its disfiguring her. I wouldn't wish her now journey on anyone its truly horrible. She still buys drugs because of the pain. Now she needs money to live. AITA for telling her before I help her with any money she needs to do a few things. She needs to charge her tenants normal fair rent (they pay about 1/3 of what fair rent should be), sell some of the expensive toys (autos and such) not everything but all of the extra ones. I still pay for her property taxes, home owners insurance and health insurance with my parents funds as they wished. My parent trust lawyer said I can not help her with my parents money but I know what my parents heart would want to. AITA for putting stipulations before I help her and watching her suffer? My sister is great at manipulating and has cried to me on the phone stating she doesn't want to live and how she needs the money.

EDIT: My sisters home is still owned by my parents which is why they pay the taxes and insurance. She does have a daughter but she cant financially support her mom. My sister is still competent so she can still make her decisions but her daughter is her POA

My mother (53F) has been dating this guy (53M) for a little over a year after the relatively recent divorce with my father (52M). Having been away for college for three years, I (20F) haven't had the chance to quite meet or bond with this person. I also am still experiencing grief over my old family structure. Ever since the divorce, my mother seems to enjoy organizing those elaborate family dinners with my siblings and her, which would be okay if it wasn't for the systematic inclusion of her new partner. Every time she assures us he will not be there, and every time that promise is not honored. It has gotten to the point where when I am opening up to her over the phone, I can hear her translating (we are immigrants) to her boyfriend as I'm talking, meaning she puts me and my feelings on speaker for them both to hear, which makes me feel beyond violated. Me and another one of my siblings (sister 24F) have expressed to her many times that we are uncomfortable at the idea of him being a constant presence, as we aren't close with him and sometimes want to spend time with just her. My brother (M13) on the other hand isnt as bothered, as they have come to bond with him being so young.

Now here is where I might be the asshole. For Thanksgiving, her and I were talking as usual about our plans, only for her to casually drop the bomb that she is hosting us and her boyfriend's 20 people family all in her small house. His brothers, his parents, his nieces and nephews and cousins. Of course, I objected at that, telling her than 2/3 of her kids have been very vocal about their dislike of her boyfriend's near systematic presence and that we are getting uncomfortable with how hard she's pushing. Not only that, but I have severe social anxiety where 20 people in such a tiny house sounds like an absolute living nightmare. She didnt budge and called our objections a sign of immaturity, and that if my brother was comfortable then there was no need for us to be. She also argued that he is now a part of her life, which is true, but if her children are consistently asking for more space and time I feel that she should respect that.

I told her I wasn't coming. At that, of course, she got angry. She said I was abandoning her on a holiday and that all I needed to do was show up, not socialize. She said I could put in earbuds and sit on the couch the whole night if I so desired, but she wants us there. To me, at this point, it's the principle. We have made our stance very clear and our boundaries reasonable but they just keep on getting crossed. Her boyfriend is kind, but we cant do it anymore knowing if we showed up we'd also be expected to help host them despite our dislike of this situation. I feel bad, as I feel that it is my responsibility as family to suck it up and be there for her, but this feels like a complete lack of care or consideration.

AITA?

Edit: For clarification, I'm not upset she's rebuilding her life, she is entitled to, I just need time she isnt giving me. My father has invited me to Thanksgiving and currently the plan is to spend it with him instead, which is also part of why she is especially upset.

**edit he’s had a sleep study done and had a cpap but he didn’t like it and returned it.**
This morning he blew up at me for waking him up by nudging him when he sleeps and telling him to roll over. He kept saying he was so tired because I keep waking him up to roll over.
I usually only do this about 25% of the time I’m woken up in a night and I haven’t slept through a night in 10+ years. I’m kind of stunned.
edit(2) thank you for the comments! I’m kind of old-like 50-and wasn’t sure how this would feel to make a post. It’s actually nice, even the ones telling me I am sorta the a**hole. Haha.
Wishing everyone a restful sleep. ❤️

Me(21F) went to a formal university event last month i bought a dress specifically for it, it was quite expensive and I wanted something icould wear again.

A friend asked to borrow it for a dinner the following weekend. I hesitated because she had borrowed clothes before and returned them in a different condition. This time she promised she would be extra careful.

But when she returned it there was a noticable stain near the bottom, she said she had accidentally spilled something on it but had already tried washing. Fabric has a special finish so the stain didnt come out. I took it to dry cleaner and they told me they couldnt guarantee they could fix it. I asked my friend if she would cover the cleaning cost at least. She immediately said she didnt have that kind of money.

I offered to let her pay in two parts. She said I was being unreasonable because accidents gappen and she had already apologized.

The thing is I didnt lend her an old every day dress she knew it was something I had bought for a specific occassion.

So Am I the asshole?

So yesterday I had some errands to run after work I do not have a vehicle so I asked to borrow my sister’s vehicle to which she replied “no” . All good went to ask my dad for his vehicle to which he also replied “no”. So I ended up just sitting there kinda feeling bummed out when my mom came and asked “what’s wrong?” I told her what happened and she responded with “well you should already have a car by now. Can’t blame anyone but yourself.” I couldn’t keep quiet after hearing that sentence so I blew up on her. For some context I am 21 yo never had a car because money is tight was the reasoning when I asked for one at 17 yo my oldest sister got a brand new car at that age same with my brother all bought and paid for by my parents. I didn’t want to be a pain so I never asked again. I’ve tried saving but each time I save “hey there’s an emergency with the family we need some help” or “hey were planning a party for your sisters 15th birthday we need help with it”. For the past 3 years I’ve been helping my family because well to this day it’s always been my goal idk if that’s a good goal anymore. Last year I got off of work I’d seen a brand new truck in the garage my parents are outside I go up to them and when I ask “what’s with the new truck?” For a second I thought just maybe it was mine. I didn’t even want it to be paid off hell just give me the payments. They turn to me and say “oh it’s your little sister’s brand new truck” in my mind I thought the 16 yo without a license surely that’s not what they meant. Turns out it’s what they meant. For three years I’ve never asked for a car only thing I’ve asked for is for a co-signer just to get the damn vehicle out and after six months I’ll re finance to just have it under mine name so it won’t affect them at all. Yesterday was the final straw for me. After blowing up on her she called my siblings crying now I’ve received so many texts and calls along with my sister and dad calling me ungrateful and disrespectful. I ask Reddit now AITA?

New account. Can't get into my other one anymore.

So this coworker, let's make it simple and call her C (for coworker F 27), showed me (M 27) a tiktok from a fair and when I told her that this fair is the coming weekend in a town nearby and that I am planning to go with some friends she insisted she wants to join us because she has no one else that would go with her. At first I refused because I barley know her. But she kept asking so after clearing it with my friends if it's ok if I bring basically a stranger I told her she can join. 

I did tell her to dress for cold weather because twice now when my friends brought their girlfriends for the first time they were surprised that, yes it's fall and the fair might be downtown but is still outside. Then were miserable within minutes, constantly complaining about wanting to go home already or trying to change the plants and go inside a restaurant or something.  

Then yesterday when we met at the train station C was definitely not dressed for spending hours outside and riding carnival rides. She was only wearing a skirt and a tiny jeans jacket. For context the weather forecast said between 1°C and 3°C and windy maybe light rain. I warned C she would be miserable without at least a warm jacket. She suggested we go inside some club if she gets cold. I told her that was not what my friends and I were planning and we wouldn't change our plants to accommodate her. She got upset at that, still I suggested she could either join us until she gets too cold and then go home or do whatever on her own or she could go home change and take a later train we would meet up at the fare then. After some more back and forth with her incising going to some pub or club would be more fun and our train arriving, we left without her.   

About half an hour later, around the time the next rain would arrive I tried to text C to ask if she was coming but I was already blocked on WhatsApp and text. My friends are 50 50 on rather I shouldn't have said anything and let her figure it out on her own or she would have ruined the night for everyone with her complaining. 

I still have to work with C, only one meeting a week but still. So reddit what is your judgment and advice? 

Edit: since after saying that in multiple comments now people are still suggesting that. I doubt she has a crush on me since I'm openly aromatic acexual and she should know that from me wearing an ace pride flag pin all June and July at work.

I (40M) want to kick my (21M) stepson out of the house.

Ever since I met my wife (43F), my stepson has done absolutely nothing. He barely graduate high school and the school district ended up sending him to a school for kids who basically on their last chance to graduate. Because of this he wasn't able to graduate with any of his friends. He went to college for 1 semester and dropped out and said it was too hard (he took film history, and basic English).

It took him nearly 2 years to actually start looking for a job. He made excuses that people shouldn't have to work and he's not going to be part of the "system". When my stepson was 20, his cousin made fun of him for not having a job already (his cousin is 16). So stepson finally looked and got at a local retail store after a month of applying.

The biggest issue is his own dad has never been part of his life and I feel bad. I don't expect him ever to think of me as a dad, and I don't think I'll ever think of him as son, but I try to give him space. A very annoying thing is that my wife will 100% enable his behavior. If he does something wrong like not picking up the trash or cleaning up his messes in the kitchen, my wife will then just do it for him instead of correcting his behavior.

It's at the point though where he is 100% disrespectful towards my wife and me. He will come home, and she will ask how his day is going and he won't respond at all, go in his room and just close the door. She will then make an excuse "oh, it's because he's tired". Most people I know would respond whether they are tired, or upset, or happy. He just says nothing and goes in his room majority of the time.

What's bothering me are his messes, and if you try to talk to him about it he just shuts the door. Today what pissed me off is I bought dinner for everyone, and I walked out of the room for a few minutes. When I got back I saw that he took my daughters meal before I could serve her. I asked him about it and he just "give her your food" then shut the door. I talk to my wife and she just says "well she probably isn't even that hungry". So I end up giving my dinner to my daughter and I'm left eating snacks around the house.

I love my wife but this is now driving my absolutely insane. I get my stepson is probably having depression issues, but my wife won't even talk to a therapist about this to even learn how to communicate with him.

Some of you will probably believe I'm a jerk stepdad, and I 100% believe he has resentment towards me, but I don't yell at him, I don't make fun of him and have always tried to give him his space as much as possible. My wife basically at this point doesn't even want me to talk to him, but his constant crappy remarks is getting to a point where I want to cuss him out.

Non native speaker, please excuse any language errors.

I went to a yoga class called "yin & yang yoga", which started with mobilisation followed by some flowing asanas. The teacher talked a lot, not just leading through the asanas, but trying to be very philosophical. I didn't appreciate the philosophical part, but it was managable.

However, she continued during the yin part, which was significantly more annoying. I'm used to receiving some guideline during yin classes to get into a comfortable position, but then some quite minutes holding the position. Again, annoying, but somehow managable.

Finally, it was time for shavasana and I was really looking forward to the silence - and the yoga teacher just continued talking. She didn't stop for even one minute! I was very stressed, when the class finished, was the first one out of the room, finding the yoga teacher alone at the reception and told her that I really would have appreciated silence for the yin part and the shavasana. She seemed super surprised although I thought that shavasana was about silent meditation and deepening the practice. Other people came out and heard our conversation. Noone else seemed to have an issue with the constant talking, but I'm especially asking all the yogis if AITA?

Edit: Some suggested to avoid the class, but she was just standing in for another teacher. Usually, shavasana in this yoga studio is silent, but I felt the urge to tell her that I would have appreciated silence in case she stands in again and I accidentally end up with her again.

Im a 22 male and wanted to become a cop. I did the work for 2 years to get myself there. I did dispatching for a little while but I hated it. Then I got into the academy and I had a huge pit in my stomach about it. I’m now in the academy and I hate it. I hate the idea of the career in front of me and want a normal job with a normal schedule. Not this. I want to become a school teacher because jobs adjacent to that I have loved. My heart has been in that direction for a while. My dad refuses though. He wants me to finish the academy and do the job. I have a degree in psychology and I did mess around in school a bit but I only found out what I wanted at my senior year after working at a gymnastic gym.

He is going through a breakup with his finance and is having a very tough time in life in general. I told him how I feel and he does not care. He was crying and begging me to stay. Now he has become mean and threatening me to. I’m on the way to tell them I am not coming back and then working my way toward my goal of teaching. My whole family support me and he is going ballistic when I talk about it.

I don’t know what to do but I feel guilty for leaving but my heart is not in it and I truly don’t want the responsibility of that job and it sucks it took me long to figure it out. I know I have to tell him today but he’s going to go ballistic. I’ve never seen him act the way he is. My brother works in film and is pushing for what he wants but my dad said stuff like “I want you to do what I never could” “I want you to have a good life”. I will not make a good officer. It is not me. I would be subbing hopefully and get into school for it this year to become a teacher. I am not sure what to do.

I get he wants me to have something started and going right now but I feel like he is being totally unfair. I just graduated and figured out what I wanted to do. I even told him if I don’t succeed in 6 months I’ll join the union to be an electrician.

The title pretty much explains it. I found out i was pregnant last fall with my husband, we were super excited and so was my best friend. She got engaged while i was pregnant, and i was super happy for her and very supportive! At her engagement party she named me and another girl joint MOHs - fine, I’m not a fan of that other girl but i didn’t make a thing of it. Not my wedding and I’m just there to support in any way i can!

Fast forward to February of this year, i ask her if she would be the god mother to my child. She’s been super excited throughout the pregnancy and we’ve been best friends since fourth grade- it seemed appropriate.

Fast forward to May of this year - I give birth to a healthy baby boy - yay me! She’s happy for me on a call when I’m still in the hospital.

A few days after I’m home i ask her to come visit me and the baby. SILENCE from her. I still send her snapchats of baby because we have a streak and she sends me streak-keeping snaps - whatever.

Postpartum becomes HARD. Husband goes back to work and I’m at home alone all the time with baby on my boobs constantly. I’m going crazy. I ask her again to visit and i need her company. She says she’s busy - what??? She’s a teacher and school is out. Wtf. I would’ve been there for her. I try to give her grace and am cool about it.

Months go by - she doesn’t attempt to talk to me at all. Very different person i was friends with then when i was pregnant.

I continue to reach out to her sporadically about catching up and seeing each other - just excuses come back my way.

I start hearing news about her wedding second hand. I’m confused why she wouldn’t just talk to me. We’ve always talked to each other about how our weddings would be growing up. I had to reach out to her about what her wedding dress was.

TODAY i find out that her bridal shower is on my sons birthday. The godson she still has yet to meet that she claimed to be soooo excited for.

I’m so upset, and I’m feeling a lot of things. I want to break out of this wedding party. I’m not even kept in the loop with anything even though I’m a MOH and am trying to keep up with a friend that barely gives me the time of day anymore. I don’t really care if i see her again tbh.

Am i the asshole for wanting to get out of this MOH and wedding situation?

Edit to add - I’m genuinely confused bc i would’ve been there for her no matter what. Work?? I’m taking time off. I’m coming up with meals and helping clean the house. I do not understand her position at ALL.

** thank you to everyone pointing out the obvious that she is no longer my friend 🥹 i think i have had a hard time coping bc of PPD and i also lost a number of other friends after giving birth, no idea why. But losing hers has been the hardest as i was friends with her the longest. I will gracefully fade out of the wedding party. And maybe doing a justice spell lol. People suck!

*** final addition: i forgot to mention that she invited me to go bridesmaid dress shopping right before thanksgiving. I told her i could come but would need to bring the baby as we’re exclusively nursing (wont take a bottle or sippy) and cries when i leave him with others (a phase he’ll hopefully grow out of soon). She told me the store probably won’t allow me in with him, which i thought was really odd because he’s an infant that just needs me right now, and why would a business turn down a mom with an infant that literally can’t walk or talk? I can understand a toddler maybe because they can be little menaces but still. It didn’t really sit right with me. She said she’d find out from the store if it’s ok (which i highly doubt she did or that it wouldn’t in any world be ok). If she reaches out to me about it closer to the date I’ll probably take that opportunity to tell her I’m not interested in her wedding✌️

Me (19F) just had my birthday and turned 19. I am incredibly grateful for all the gifts I receive and the things we do on my birthday. The problem is, my younger 6 year old brother expects everything to go his way all the time, and it can often ruin an entire day for everyone.

I head downstairs and greet my parents, before sitting down to open my gifts. My brother immediately chucks his tablet aside and asks to help open them, being a people please-er and not wanting to cause a fuss, I say yes. To be honest, I dont mind him opening my gifts with me as a nice sibling bonding time, but the problem is he just grabs everything and opens them way too fast. He already knows what I have, as he saw my parents wrapping them the night before, so just wants to open them for the sake of opening them. When I try grab a present he immediately leans over to try open it for me, and before I even get a chance to see what I have, his hands are on another gift. I like to take my time and appreciate my gifts as I receive them. I felt as if I had to rush through them, if I didnt, he would open them all for me. After theyre all opened he immediately jumps back onto the sofa to go onto his tablet.

Anyway- we go out for dinner and he is whining and demanding the whole time, and has to be told off multiple times for his behaviour. We head home and we have cake. Everyone sings and the cake is brought to me, before my mam asks if my brother wants to blow out the candles. He screams and cries, saying he doesnt want to, in a strop from being told off, but comes over anyway. Before hes even there he blows out all of my candles and runs back to the sofa to kick off, screaming about how this is the worst day ever.

I tried to subtly bring this up to my dad, but his excuses were that im "older" and "really, did that actually upset you?"

Its not just these factors, my birthday is simply in the way. My family tries to get it out the way so they can put christmas decorations up, only 5 mins after I had opened my presents some decorations were going up already. I guess this upsets me as everybody else has time to enjoy their birthdays, but mines pushed aside very quickly. Of course im incredibly grateful for everything people do for me, but when I have one day where I can be myself and do something for me, I dont want my brother invading it, especially with his behaviour and saying all the nasty things he says when its not something he wants. He feels like everything should go his way, because it does, all the time! He always wins and barely gets punished. I dont want him feeling entitled to opening my gifts or blowing out my candles. He cried on my 18th because I said I didnt want him to do it, and my mam seemed dissappointed. I feel like an asshole saying this stuff, because I dont want to appear spoiled, but I know if this continues my brother will demand it every single year.

I got engaged this past June and am having a destination wedding in May 2028 in my home country. I wasn't planning on dress shopping until next year, but my grandparents were visiting for a few months before returning home. I really wanted my grandma involved in the experience, not knowing when we'd get another opportunity before I found my dress.

For my first appointment, I brought my mom, grandma, sister, and best friend. It was a casual fitting at someone's home based dress business. I initially requested no kids because I wanted to be able to focus and enjoy the experience without stress. Her bf works and she’s SAHM, so my sister brought my 2-year-old niece. I love my niece, and I didn't mind her being there, but I quickly became overwhelmed. My sister isn't always the best at keeping an eye on her, setting boundaries, or preventing her from getting into things. This usually results in my mom having to step in and supervise her, taking away from her ability to enjoy the experience with me.

My sister and I are eight years apart and have never been particularly close. Maintaining our relationship can be difficult because she often interprets anything I say as an attack on her character or parenting. She frequently says I don't make enough time for her or that I prioritize my friends. However, when I do invite her to hang out, she's often unavailable, or our conversations revolve entirely around her. I want to support her, but I feel like I'm constantly responsible for maintaining the relationship emotionally, and it's exhausting.

Last week, she started an argument out of nowhere, ultimately saying she'd never ask for my opinion again because I don't support her and she doesn't need my advice. If I don't completely agree with her, I'm mean, unsupportive, or attacking her. She's been ignoring me since that conversation.

When my second dress appointment came around, I decided not to invite her. Part of it was the tension between us, but I also didn't want another appointment where my mom was occupied watching my niece instead of sharing the experience with me. I was also worried about my niece running around a high-end bridal shop, or getting into things.

I wasn't even expecting to find my dress, but I did. Now my sister is extremely upset that she wasn't included. I genuinely didn't exclude her to hurt her or create conflict. I just wanted one special day that was peaceful, stress-free, and focused on me.

I invited her to come to my final appointment in May, where I'll get my correct size, choose my veil, and try the dress on again. My mom offered to watch my niece so my sister and I could have an intimate day together, but she's refusing to come.

I feel like I'm entering a season of life where it's okay to prioritize myself and not constantly accommodate everyone else's feelings, but I still feel incredibly guilty.

Ok so I genuinely have a problem. My stepsister is my roomate and she has been doing meth and Molly in my house. Im 19 and I have my own apartment with my name on the lease and my name only. Every night without fail there is another man or woman that I have no idea who they are is in my house. No I do not get introduced to these people, and yes I hear them all hours of the night. I’ve repeatedly told her I feel uncomfortable with having someone over every day. Her guests are here while she’s at work, they eat my food and cause a genral disturbance. Im currently trying to figure out how to get her out and have another roomate but I don’t know how. One night I got pissed because she was having sex really loud at two in the morning. And I hollered at her and she said I was lucky my door was locked. I don’t feel safe in my own home anymore and I need someone to help me genuinely.

I (18F) live in university accommodation with four other students and I’m getting increasingly frustrated with how messy and wasteful they are.

Since moving in I’ve regularly bought shared essentials like bin bags, kitchen roll and washing-up liquid.
I’ve recently stopped because of how quickly everything gets used. Now that my flatmates have had to spend their own money they’re suddenly insisting that everyone needs to take turns buying things, which I would normally agree with if it wasn’t these circumstances.
For context:
two entire rolls of bin bags were used in two weeks, a roll of kitchen roll lasted three days,
and we went through five full bottles of washing-up liquid in just 3.5 weeks.
I’ve probably used 2 sheets of kitchen roll in total, and I probably put one thing in the kitchen bin a day at most.

What frustrates me even more is that I’m the one doing practically all the cleaning, despite living with four other people.
They constantly leave the kitchen in an absolute state, with dirty counters, filthy floors, food everywhere and piles of dirty dishes in the sink. I’m always the one wiping down surfaces, mopping and cleaning up messes I haven’t made. If I don’t clean, it simply doesn’t get done.

Every week I ask them to clear their dishes out of the sink, and they promise they will but never do. I’ve even suggested putting them in the washing-up bowl on the side or keeping them in their rooms until they’re ready to wash them, but nothing changes. I feel like I’m constantly having to nag grown adults to do the bare minimum.

I genuinely wouldn’t mind contributing towards shared essentials if everyone was doing their fair share. However, I don’t think it’s fair that I’m expected to keep paying for supplies that are being used so wastefully when I’m already doing the majority of the cleaning.
My issue isn’t the money itself, it’s the principle. I’ve spent my own money on these things since moving in, and now that I’ve stopped, they’re suddenly making an issue out of having to buy them themselves.
AITAH for refusing to buy any more shared essentials for the flat?

For reference, this happened this past summer but it still comes up in the family every now and then.

Me and my wife were away at a dual bachelor/bachelorette party and my MIL was watching our son and my mom was watching our house and animals.

So my sister was going to visit from out of state and she wants to see my son and I say that she’s with my MIL. She texts MIL to see if she can come and she says yes. But my sister asks if it’s ok for her BF to come. (I didn’t know she had one) so MIL texts me first because she didn’t know that either. I call my sister, she insists she wasn’t trying to pull a fast one on me and was going to tell me she had a new bf who was coming. I say fine, whatever. So we decide to change plans since my sister was going to visit on the day we were coming home, so my MIL was going to drop off my son at my home with my mom, and my sister would come and we would be home. But she tells me she probably can’t visit in the time it would take us to get home. She wants to come before. I said if she is bringing her bf who is new and I’ve never met, then no. She said “can I ask why” and I explain I won’t have a stranger in my home with my child while I’m not home. Me and my wife were in agreement, but my sister was not happy.

She then mentions she’s bringing her new dog. Asks if the dog can come. We again say no (we have 3 dogs and a cat, one dog is food aggressive and old, and we don’t know what will happen when we aren’t home) but my wife offers to give my sisters dog a kennel at her job (she’s a vet and the hospital is 5 mins away) my sister declines and gets all pissy.

She then decides that she can no longer spend time with me or talk to me, and needs a break to focus on herself. She thinks I’m being selfish and not respecting her. Meanwhile, I’m not going to be fooled here into thinking that what we want is completely rational. She does this on and off thing often, so I told her that since we have a child, I wouldn’t allow this in and out and if she didn’t want to be part our lives then to tell me now and we won’t be speaking to each other again until she decides she can respect our house and rules with our child. She decided that she in fact can’t do that, so she will be out of our lives. I told her not to reach out unless she changed her mind.

Most everyone is on our side, they get it. Some family understands but thinks I was too harsh. Mind you, she has not respected our house in the past by ruining one of the towels in the guest bedroom (which isn’t a huge deal) but she got very defensive, and tried to throw it on me and we just decided she wouldn’t spend the night at our house anymore going forward.

TLDR: AITAH for cutting my sister out of my life for not respecting my house rules about no strangers visiting our home and kid while we are away?

I’m 24F, my sister is 16. I bought a new laptop last month, so my old one still works perfectly. I told my friend who’s a broke college student she could have it for free, since she really needs it for school. We agreed I’d drop it off this weekend. Last night my parents found out and said I should give it to my sister instead. She’s been begging for a laptop for her online classes. They said family comes first, and my friend can find another one. I explained I already made a promise. My sister started crying, saying it’s unfair that a stranger gets it before her. My parents said I’m being stubborn and selfish, that I can just tell my friend I changed my mind. I feel bad for my sister, but I hate breaking promises. My friend has no extra money to buy a device, while my parents said they could save up for a laptop for my sister in a few months. Now everyone at home is upset with me. They say I value a friend over my own family. AITA?